“Do you think porn is cheating?” It’s almost became an ice-breaker in today’s society to ask this. Some think that if you say yes you are too jealous, some think that if you say no you’re too laid back. It’s a debate you never really win with.
It’s also a really boring debate ignoring the real problem we should be talking it. How about instead, “do you think porn makes you a degenerate who fails to get turned on in the presence of real people in natural situations?”
“Do you think being addicted to watching strangers have sex is deranged?”
“Do you think consuming products of the sex work industry whilst saying hands down you couldn’t date a woman with an OnlyFans is hypocritical?”
“Do you think from your teen years consuming media that hints at anybody being in the mood for sex if you try hard enough is damaging?”
“Do you think watching and getting off to 18 year old girls getting ragged around by an old man is misogynistic and very weird?”
I could go on. I really really could.
So yes, watching it is cheating. But that really isn’t the worst thing about it.
Appearance problems
Most women (and men) in the industry look naff all like your average person. The women will either be stick thin with small breasts to look like teens (gross) or have massive fake boobs and arse. Both of these warp the vision porn watchers have of what women should/will look like.
Addicts will reach a point where they can only be attracted to a woman that looks like a sex doll. They’ll get a girlfriend, hide their addiction, and then fail to get a hard on with her. Because she looks like a natural human. Good luck.
The men will look like they go the gym about 12 times a day and have absurd dicks. A teenage boy being exposed to this at aged 14 and seeing it consistently up to adulthood will develop severe self-esteem issues and decide he will never get his hole and just watch this instead. Leading to addiction and depression and isolation and everything else that young men are prone to.
Internalised misogyny
Have you ever watched an adult video and seen someone ask for consent? I doubt it. And if you have, what page did you scroll to in your search?
Porn is for instant gratification (more on that later), so they can’t waste time with flirting, getting in the mood, foreplay, asking if you’re okay, can I do this? They just get the man (or men) to slam the woman (or women) down on the bed or whatever it is they’re using today and get at it. This isn’t how sex works!!!!!!!!
Women are so so soooo objectified in porn it is a joke. It’s disgusting. Like yes, some women will like being called a dirty slut in the bedroom (by their loving partner who they have set boundaries with previously). But women sure as hell aren’t just ‘dirty sluts.’
The ‘plot’ of porn videos is generally a man comes across a woman, she is a conquest, she is conquered. Her only role in this media is to look lustful, make noises on cue, suck the dick, do whatever she’s asked.
Women in the real world are not conquests for men to complete. They are human beings with feelings, wants, and needs. And we don’t have to look shaggable at every given moment!
The abuse and exploitation of the stars
A lot of porn stars go into the industry as teenagers. Do you understand how insane that is? They finish school and then men (and women) start getting addicted to masturbating over watching them being used and abused.
The stars are led into thinking they’re the ones in control, they are liberated. They’re not.
“Shelley Luben is one of the most outspoken former adult film actresses against the industry. Luben was 24 years old when she started and from 1993-1994, appeared in roughly 15 movies. She had an awful experience, contracting herpes and HPV during her tenure.
Luben stated in a past written article that “Actresses have showed up on the set not knowing about certain requirements and were told by producers to do it or leave without being paid. Work or never work again. Yes, we made the choice. Some of us needed the money. But we were manipulated and coerced and even threatened.” This sadly is a theme among many former actresses.” (Source here.)
Evidently, there is no health safety, no care taken to ask what people are comfortable with, and just downright abuse in the sex industry workplace.
Instant gratification
Instant gratification might sound good at first – getting what you want quickly. But relying on instant gratification literally changes your brain.
Whether it’s instant gratification in the form of porn for masturbation, fast food for comfort, posting a photo online for an ego boost – it has negative long term effects.
Getting instant gratification from something makes it easy to get addicted. Getting addicted to something makes you reliant on it and leads to depressed mood when you can’t get it. With porn, it is possible to also lead to depression through shame.
Watching porn for masturbation doesn’t actually make you happy – it makes you sexually challenged and feel grossed out afterwards. Eating fast food for comfort doesn’t actually make you happy – it makes you deficient in important nutrients, sluggish and is the cause of obesity. Posting a photo online to get likes for an ego boost doesn’t actually make you happy – it makes you depend on external validation and unable to make yourself feel good on your own.
What I’m trying to say is, instant gratification =/= long-term happiness or content, but actually makes you prone to some psychological issues!
If you told somebody that you liked watching strangers have sex, they’d considering reporting you to the authorities. So why is it different when you call it porn instead?
“I like to decipher patterns on shredded trees and use these patterns to imagine events” doesn’t make you sound like a danger to society. Because using your imagination doesn’t make you a danger to society. And that’s exactly what reading is. (I could do this for virtually every other hobby or habit under the sun too, and it won’t sound as horrifying as the true description of porn.)
So next time you’re just itching to watch some strangers, who are abused and exploited behind the screen (as well as in front of it), just use your imagination instead. It might take longer – but at least that isn’t instant gratification!
Izzy sagt, Izzy does 