The loss of a loved one

Losing a loved one feels like complete numbness and experiencing every emotion at the same time.

It feels like you too have died, but at the same time you’ve never felt so alive, so human.

I feel like I’ve been hit by a car but at the same time the pain is tolerable. It’s tolerable because you know it’s right.

Saying they have gone feels wrong too. Because they haven’t, not really. Their body and soul have separated – but the soul is still there. Somewhere.

I am sure they are watching me. Even writing this. They have to be here somewhere because I know if they weren’t I wouldn’t have the motivation to carry on.

I wouldn’t be eating if they weren’t here. I wouldn’t still be able to laugh at things if they weren’t here letting me know it’s okay to laugh.

My heart occasionally feels like it’s going to stop – just like theirs did. But it doesn’t stop, obviously. It just feels like it. And that feeling reminds me one day it will. It comes for everyone.

I hope when it’s my day nobody feels like this.