Thing that make me feel alive.

Now Playing: Summertime – My Chemical Romance

 

The piano version of that song, that makes me feel alive. It has a melody that makes me feel like I’m on drugs, good drugs. Better than drugs.

There She Goes by The La’s has a similar effect. and This Night Has Opened My Eyes by The Smiths, my favourite band. One of my favourite songs. There’s just something about songs like that that you can’t explain to others. It ripples down your bones.

Walking down a street with no jacket on and carrying no bag. Wonderful. Bliss. That feeling of freedom, made better by your hair dragging neatly behind you.

Everton winning an important game, scoring a penalty. The whistling from the fans whilst waiting for the ref to blow the whistle. And then the relief when they do.

Waiting around in an airport for your flight, with butterflies doing their rounds in your stomach.

That funny feeling you get when you quickly go down a little hill on a road. Or drop on a ride. A tumgasm. It lasts a fraction of a second, but it’s just a friendly reminder that you’re alive.

Eye contact with a different animal. Staring out a cat. Feeling a chimp eyeing you up in a zoo, knowing you’re their distant relative. That it could have easily been them making laws instead of you. – Well, instead of white men.

Just random acknowledgements of your own humanity, and mortality.

Cold water hitting your face. If you’re anything like me you’ll hate it, but be thankful for it a few moments later when you feel so much more awake.

Someone you like touching the back of your neck, making you do that awful thing with your shoulders. Someone playing with your hair. Playing with your own hair. Playing with yourself.

I’m just waiting to die…and then, one of these things happens. It’s almost like I wake up from a daze, and I’m alive.

I feel alive. And I enjoy it.

And then it’s back to being on standby.