Why I Disappeared for Months & Other Stories

Now Playing: Feeder – Just A Day

On 23rd September 2017 I embarked on a new adventure in my life and started my year abroad. I’m currently residing in Bremen, Northern Germany (it’s near Hamburg…). It’s a wonderful city, but studying abroad is tough when you’re also dealing with general anxiety and depression (and, probably, separation anxiety…)

When I arrived in September I had the worst start EVER. I’m already horrendous at ‘new beginnings’ anyway so to arrive to an apartment with no food or cutlery or KETTLE?!!!!??! was horrible. I know that sounds stupid but you don’t appreciate never having an empty cupboard when you’re at home.

First things first…where’s the WiFi?!

Well, there wasn’t anyway. The website of the place I am staying in said they had free Internet. What they meant was they provide WLAN (what is that???). So off I went to buy a WiFi box. And a kettle.

When I got home (I also bought bowls and food etc. don’t worry) I turned on my laptop to set up the WiFi and tell my two friends I was still alive, so far.

And then.

My laptop battery got low. So I plugged in the charger.

And then.

It sparked.

I’m from the UK so had to use an adapter, and it SIZZLED AND BURNED. The only thing I had keeping me alive was my laptop for company and now I couldn’t use it.

I had a breakdown on the phone to my mum who told me the obvious thing to do was buy a European charger. I did this immediately, but still I’d have to wait 3 days approx for it to arrive. My mum told me to get some sleep and turned the phone off.

Then I rang my boyfriend to have a breakdown to him. He probably also told me to get some sleep. It’s a recurring theme in my life.


So, I still have no friends at this point. Everybody around me has made friends and I feel horrifically isolated. The city is great as I have said (I think), but it is so difficult to enjoy on your own. University is incredibly different in Germany than in the UK too. I promise to never complain about 9 grand again (unless you’re a Tory, then yes, I’m complaining).

Going home for 2 weeks at Xmas was great, my separation anxiety was temporarily cured (the cat). It appears the cat also has separation anxiety as he started sleeping with me at night (something he has never done with anyone in his 3 years of existing).


But, regardless of all this, it is a new year and new opportunities will come for me on my year abroad and also in September when I start final year. eeewwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I will share a couple of images of my year abroad so far to prove to myself you that I actually have gone out and I am capable of going out and being a normal human being.

Here’s to a great 2018 for all. Fuck social anxiety and depression. Forza studying abroad and a new Animal Crossing game for the Switch. ……. please.

Bremer Freimarkt is an occasion every year in Bremen in November. 2017 was the 1000th Market! yay markets!
A very gorgeous vegan meal I had at a vegan restaurant called Vege Farm (near the Weserstadion). Bremen is very big on plant power! yay plants!

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