Trust No-one: The 5 Most Annoying Lies You’re Told As A Kid

Now Playing: Dammit – Blink-182

WARNING: This post may contain adulthood spoilers.

I hate to say it, but that Santa and the Tooth Fairy are real

Yeah, they’re not. Incase you hadn’t already noticed. I can’t recall how I found out Santa wasn’t real (I just know I was relieved), if you remember, feel free to share it as I’m sure it’ll be a funny anecdote.

I do, however, remember finding out the Tooth Fairy didn’t exist because my dad swapped the tooth under my pillow for a quid whilst I was still awake. I kept my eyes closed so he didn’t feel bad.

Just what exactly is the point in this grandiose lie?

Turning a light on in the car will cause instant death

I mean, just what? The look of mixed fear and rage on your parent/guardian’s face when you’d go to turn the light on whilst they’re driving was unreal.

I ridicule adults for this, but according to the statistics nobody has died from turning a light on in the car since records began! All that screaming and balling clearly paid off and saved a lot of lives. It pains me to think of how careless Millennials are…

Going outside with wet hair will give you a cold

You should have seen my face when I was taught about germs in high school science. According to the experts germs are not spread via wet hair. Well I never.

Crusts give you curly hair

I can’t even work out if this is promoting or discouraging the consumption of crusts. What I do know is, it is bullshit. Which brings me nicely to the final lie…

You’ll understand when you’re older

I am now 20 years of age and understand none of the above things. Why lie? In fact I now understand even less than I did when I was 5 years old leaning on the radiator trying to dry my hair so I could go outside. Bills??? Taxes??? The Conservative Party???

 

I hope this myth-busting didn’t shock you so much that your face got stuck in a :O shape when the wind changed. If your eyes haven’t gone square and you can still type a coherent sentence, do share any other myths for us youngsters to bust.

In the words of Mark Hoppus, I guess this is growing up.

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